As preached by Zach Thompson.
"Peace is not the absence of conflict; it's the presence of harmony."
Peacemakers...
1) Actively seek the good of all parties involved.
2) Trust in God's sovereign hand.
3) Make appeals from gospel truth.
4) Hope for genuine resolution.
Philemon 8-25
Good morning Christ Fellowship!
We’ll be finishing our two-week series through Philemon this week.
If you are able, please stand in honor of God’s holy, inspired, and inerrant word
1 Paul, a prisoner for Christ Jesus, and Timothy our brother,
To Philemon our beloved fellow worker 2 and Apphia our sister and Archippus our fellow soldier, and the church in your house:
3 Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
4 I thank my God always when I remember you in my prayers, 5 because I hear of your love and of the faith that you have toward the Lord Jesus and for all the saints, 6 and I pray that the sharing of your faith may become effective for the full knowledge of every good thing that is in us for the sake of Christ. 7 For I have derived much joy and comfort from your love, my brother because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you.
8 Accordingly, though I am bold enough in Christ to command you to do what is required, 9 yet for love’s sake I prefer to appeal to you—I, Paul, an old man and now a prisoner also for Christ Jesus— 10 I appeal to you for my child, Onesimus, whose father I became in my imprisonment. 11 (Formerly he was useless to you, but now he is indeed useful to you and to me.) 12 I am sending him back to you, sending my very heart. 13 I would have been glad to keep him with me, in order that he might serve me on your behalf during my imprisonment for the gospel, 14 but I preferred to do nothing without your consent in order that your goodness might not be by compulsion but of your own accord. 15 For this perhaps is why he was parted from you for a while, that you might have him back forever, 16 no longer as a bondservant but more than a bondservant, as a beloved brother—especially to me, but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord.
17 So if you consider me your partner, receive him as you would receive me. 18 If he has wronged you at all, or owes you anything, charge that to my account. 19 I, Paul, write this with my own hand: I will repay it—to say nothing of your owing me even your own self. 20 Yes, brother, I want some benefit from you in the Lord. Refresh my heart in Christ.
21 Confident of your obedience, I write to you, knowing that you will do even more than I say. 22 At the same time, prepare a guest room for me, for I am hoping that through your prayers I will be graciously given to you.
23 Epaphras, my fellow prisoner in Christ Jesus, sends greetings to you, 24 and so do Mark, Aristarchus, Demas, and Luke, my fellow workers.
25 The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit.
Let’s Pray.
In the Sermon on Mount, Jesus stated a list of blessings called the Beatitudes. One of them is in Matthew 5:9. “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.”
Hold that in your mind.
When I was in late middle school, I remember standing in the hallway of our church building. It was me, my little brother Andrew, and Andrew’s friend Justin. We were trying to play a game, and Andrew refused to play. He didn’t have a game that he wanted to play. He just wouldn’t play the one that we wanted to. I was hotheaded, and I called him a name that I won’t repeat here. And just a few feet away, my dad was behind a door where he was secretly listening to our conversation, and I received swift retribution for my anger and foolish words.
Skip forward a few years. I was in high school, and I played on a club soccer team. One day after our game against a rival team, a tall German guy from the other team caught one of my teammates in a secret place by some bleachers. He held my teammate against the bleachers by his neck and threatened serious physical harm against him. The next season, when we played that team, the referee gave me a yellow card because I [quote] “lowered the boom” on that same German guy. Not the best way to resolve conflict.
Skip forward to about 10 years ago. At around 9 pm, I got a text from my friend Xavier. He said that he was finished and that he was going to leave his wife because he was pretty sure that she had been faithless to him. Courtney and I rushed over to their house where they were shouting at each other, and we jumped headlong into 4 hours of counseling and crisis mediation in an effort to save their marriage.
I could tell stories for a while. Some where conflict was handled in a godly way, and others where it wasn’t. Boiling anger as I spoke to the man who abused my sister. Cowardly passivity as I watched the relationship disintegrate between two dear friends. Confused silence because I didn’t even know how I was supposed to talk to someone after a prolonged conflict between him and a friend.
There is conflict around us constantly. And it is so easy to respond in ungodly ways.
Since preaching through the first 7 verses of Philemon last week, I have had several conversations with people in this gathering. All throughout the week, I’ve been struck with this same reality again and again.
We are constantly surrounded with conflict.
At our workplaces, we have to navigate conflict. In our homes, we have to navigate conflict. Even at grocery stores! Friends, neighbors, family, coworkers, tall German guys on the other soccer team.
But we have this promise from Matthew 5:9.
“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.”
But what does it mean to be a peacemaker?
Last week, we discussed why we should pursue peace among the saints.
This week, we are asking a slightly different question.
What does it look like to be a peacemaker? What are the qualities that characterize a peacemaker?
This is the question that will guide our time today.
Peacemakers:
Actively seek the good of all parties involved (8-14).
Peacemakers actively seek the good of all parties involved
We briefly made this point last week when I pointed out that Paul didn’t have to write this letter. The fact that he is entering into the conversation at all is a point worth noting.
But it’s not merely that he writes the letter.
He does it in a way that seeks the greatest good for everyone involved.
Why’s he doing this? Because he understands what real peace is.
Peace isn’t just the absence of conflict. It’s the presence of harmony.
Have you ever heard discordant music? It’s the kind of music that is produced when a middle school marching band plays after all of them are picking up their brass and woodwind and percussion instruments for the first time and just having a go at it.
It’s horrible.
What’s the opposite of that? What’s the opposite of discordant music? It’s not silence. It’s harmony. It’s what you hear when a room of practiced professionals perform Mozart’s Requiem in D minor.
Paul isn’t seeking the absence of conflict. He is seeking blessing. He is seeking the greatest good for everyone involved. Because that is what characterizes real peace.
Paul knows that he, Philemon, and Onesimus will find the greatest blessing when there is real reconciliation between Onesimus and Philemon.
Apart from this big-picture reality, there are specific ways that Paul is seeking the good of both Philemon and Onesimus in this text.
First, we see Paul seeking Philemon’s good when he doesn’t outright command Philemon to do what Paul thinks is right. Look in verse 8, “Accordingly, though I am bold enough in Christ to command you to do what is required, 9 yet for love’s sake I prefer to appeal to you”
Why is Paul holding back the full force of his apostolic authority? It’s right there in verse 9. “For love’s sake”
Friends, if we are going to be peacemakers, we must be guided by love.
And that might mean that you guide someone into faithfulness rather than yanking them into it.
Behavior modification isn’t the goal.
We are always after the heart because God is always after our heart.
When Paul appealed to Philemon rather than commanding him, it allowed Philemon to retain his honor in a situation where hadn’t actually sinned as far as we know, and it gave Philemon the opportunity to be generous. That’s part of what Paul is saying in verse 14. Look there. “but I preferred to do nothing without your consent in order that your goodness might not be by compulsion but of your own accord”
Paul wanted Philemon to have the blessing of obedience without being under compulsion.
Apart from that, he also seeks his good by sending his servant back to him even though he was incredibly beloved and useful to Paul. And this is actually part of how Paul seeks Onesimus’s good.
He makes a case for why Philemon should be glad to have Onesimus back by saying how much Paul personally values Onesimus. In verse 10, he calls Onesimus his child. In verse 11, he says that before he had been useless, but now he is useful (certainly a play on words with his name, which means useful). In verse 12, he says that Onesimus is his very heart. In verse 13, he says that he would been thrilled for Onesimus to stay with him.
We’ll see more of how Paul pursues Philemon’s good because that is the entire point of the letter, so you’ll see more of this in a bit. But for now, I want to dwell on this for just a minute.
Peacemakers actively seek the good of all parties involved.
Think about some conflict that you have been in. Maybe it’s in the past. Maybe it’s right now. Maybe it’s something you expect to happen sometime in the future.
Think about this quality. Peacemakers actively see the good of all parties involved.
Have you sought the good of everyone involved? Because that’s what love does. That’s what a real peacemaker does.
Now, let me be clear. Seeking everyone’s good doesn’t mean that everyone gets what they want. Paul has to give up a valuable partner to make this reconciliation happen. Onesimus had to travel a thousand miles to face a man who could take legal action against him. Philemon had to look in the eyes of a man who betrayed him and offer forgiveness.
All of these things were painful, but they were good.
Being a peacemaker doesn’t mean that you will always be Mr. Positivity and be on everyone’s good side. It means that you are actively seeking the truest good, even if they don’t want it.
Peacemakers actively seek the good of all parties involved.
Our second point is that:
Peacemakers:
Trust in God’s sovereign hand (15-16).
Peacemakers trust in God’s sovereign hand.
We see this in verses 15-16. In these verses, Paul points out that if Onesimus hadn’t left, it might be that he never would have heard Paul preach. In a way, Onesimus came to know Christ because he fled from Philemon.
Look in verse 15. “For this perhaps is why he was parted from you for a while, that you might have him back forever, 16 no longer as a bondservant but more than a bondservant, as a beloved brother—especially to me, but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord.”
You can imagine Philemon’s distress in all of this. Can I really trust this man again? How can I let him back into my home after he so thoroughly deceived me?
Paul is trying to help Philemon see that God’s hand has been in all of this. He was parted from you so that he would come back as a beloved brother.
Timothy is great about doing this. If you complain to him about hard things in your life, he is probably going to ask you the same question that he asks me. “What do you think God is teaching you through this?”
It’s a simple question, but it’s so good. We need to ask each other this kind of question more.
We can get so focused on how hard things are. I’m in so much pain. I’m so busy, I feel like I can’t breathe. They spoke so thoughtlessly, and it pierced my heart.
Look up! Look past the pain or inconvenience or fear or whatever it is, and ask the question. How has God shaped you through this? How is he shaping you in this very moment?
Maybe you are thinking about some pain that is long past. Over the course of years, what people has God brought into your life through that pain? What comfort have you been able to offer to others because you have already walked through it?
The peacemaker has a deep-seated trust that God is working in his people, even if they are in the middle of some kind of conflict, and if we really trust that God is working, then we can operate with real confidence.
We can have faith that God is shaping everyone involved.
Peacemakers actively seek the good of all parties involved
Peacemakers trust in God’s sovereign hand.
Peacemakers:
Make appeals from Gospel truth (17-20).
Peacemakers make appeals from Gospel truth.
A biblical peacemaker doesn’t just try and remove conflict. A biblical peacemaker seeks to inject the gospel into the conflict. Their appeal springs from Gospel truth.
I made my first Thanksgiving turkey when I was a sophomore in College. I had helped my dad inject a cajun garlic butter into our turkeys growing up, but I had never done it by myself until that year. I didn’t realize that there is a technique to how you inject the turkey so that it spreads out evenly. Instead, there were pockets in the turkey that were obscenely flavorful and other ones that weren’t quite what they should have been. I remember cutting open the turkey breast and finding a dark spot where there was a concentration of that cajon butter and garlic. It was one of the most flavorful bites of Turkey I have ever had.
In this letter of Philemon, Paul has been injecting gospel truths, and this is where we get to take the bite.
I don’t know if you’ve noticed this. But up to this point, Paul hasn’t actually asked for anything. He has hinted and foreshadowed, but he hasn’t actually asked for anything explicit.
He has been building a case, and now we come to the climax of the letter. This is the point that Paul has been driving toward the entire time.
Look in verse 17.
“So if you consider me your partner, receive him as you would receive me. 18 If he has wronged you at all, or owes you anything, charge that to my account. 19 I, Paul, write this with my own hand: I will repay it—to say nothing of your owing me even your own self. 20 Yes, brother, I want some benefit from you in the Lord. Refresh my heart in Christ.”
There it is. It’s out there. “Receive him as you would receive me.” And if he owes you anything, count it as if I owe it to you.
There is some debate about what exactly Paul is asking of Philemon here. What does it mean to receive him as you would receive me?
I think that it means just what it seems to mean. Paul is asking Philemon to receive his former slave with honor and friendship. He is calling on Paul to receive Onesimus into his home with gratitude in his heart and joy in his eyes.
But when we get down to the brass tax, why should Philemon receive Onesimus?
This climactic appeal is injected with two great gospel themes.
Two reasons:
Because Onesimus has become a brother.
Because Onesimus has been given the merit of another.
Let’s take them both in turn.
Because Onesimus has become a brother.
Philemon should welcome Onesimus because of the exact point that Paul has been making throughout the letter. It’s the underlying thrust of the entire letter.
Philemon is under obligation to treat Onesimus as a brother in Christ first and a household servant second.
Spiritual brotherhood carries a special obligation for forgiveness and charity. And spiritual brotherhood breaks down other categories.
Or think of Colossians 3:11, “Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all, and in all.”
In Christ, our worldly categories take a back seat. In ourselves, we are all sinners and enemies of God, but in Christ, we are made worthy. We are rebels made into sons.
And that is why Paul’s exhortation here packs a punch. Because at the foot of the cross, master and servant stand on the same ground and are washed by the same blood.
If Onesimus is a brother, how could Philemon possibly justify withholding forgiveness?
And this brings us back to the other reason that Philemon should be justified in welcoming Onesimus–Paul’s merit with Philemon.
Because Onesimus has been given the merit of another.
This is Paul’s point in verses 18-20. He tells him to charge any wrongs to his own account. He personally guarantees that he will repay everything. And he reminds Philemon that Philemon owes Paul his very self.
It’s clear here that Philemon is deeply in Paul’s debt because of something that happened in the past, and Paul makes it clear that he expects Philemon to repay his debt by forgiving Onesimus.
Consider the experience of Onesimus as he approached Philemon’s house. The slave, Onesimus couldn’t proclaim his own merit. He didn’t deserve to be welcomed, but he would be welcomed on the merit of someone else.
Paul is imitating Christ. Look at the appeal in verse 17. “Receive him as you would receive me. 18 If he has wronged you at all, or owes you anything, charge that to my account.”
Doesn’t this sound familiar?
This is what Christ says over us. This is the great exchange that happened in the work of Christ.
It’s what we call double imputation. When we are in Christ, our sin is imputed to him, and his righteousness is imputed to us.
If you are in Christ, then you will be received by the Father with all of the love he has for the Son. When the Father looks at you, he doesn’t just see you. He sees Christ. He will receive you as if he is receiving Christ.
Unworthy slaves accepted on the merits of another.
And all of our sins against God are forgiven. Just like verse 18. “If he has wronged you at all, or owes you anything, charge that to my account.”
When we throw ourselves on the mercy of Christ, this is what he proclaims over us. Charge that to my account. Your sins have been paid for.
Brothers and sisters, in Christ, we are forgiven and made righteous. We are slaves made into sons. We are villains made into brothers.
Just step back here and think about Paul’s method. What would it look like for you to inject the gospel into every type of peacemaking?
More often than not, it just means reminding people of what they already know.
In Paul’s case, Philemon probably didn’t know that Onesimus had come to faith, but he knew all of these other truths. This was a man who probably first heard the gospel from Paul himself. A leader in his church who was faithful and refreshed the hearts of the saints.
He knew that everyone who was in Christ was a new Creation and they were a brother, but Paul knew that in this moment when he would see the man who betrayed him, he would need to be reminded.
Do you know what this means? This point is that Peacemakers make appeals from Gospel truths, but we could have said it a different way.
Peacemakers remind the saints of gospel truth.
You don’t have to be innovative, you just have to point to the gospel.
What
Peacemakers actively seek the good of all parties involved
Peacemakers trust in God’s sovereign hand.
Peacemakers make appeals from Gospel truths
Peacemakers:
Hope for genuine resolution (21-25).
We see this most clearly in verses 21-22.
Look in verse 21.
“Confident of your obedience, I write to you, knowing that you will do even more than I say.”
Paul is confident that Philemon will respond with obedience, and he isn’t talking about obedience to Paul. He is confident that Philemon will obey Christ. That he will respond to the obligations of love that are on him.
We know that this is the case because Paul hasn’t actually commanded anything of Philemon. He appealed to him, but in this letter, Paul isn’t swinging his authority. He is pointing to Christ.
And Paul even ups the ante when he writes that Philemon won’t just do the bare minimum. He will be lavish in his reception of Onesimus. “You will do even more than I say.”
This is the goal. Isn’t it? That we wouldn’t do the bare minimum when it comes to living at peace and seeking the good of our brothers and sisters.
Our love for each other should be overflowing into good works.
Genuine resolution isn’t just doing the bare minimum and then acting like no conflict ever happened. Genuine resolution is lavish.
It’s like when I make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for myself. I’m not putting enough on there just to say it’s peanut butter and jelly. That layer of peanut butter and jelly should be about as thick as a third piece of bread.
That’s the goal.
In 1 Peter 4, Peter outlines this kind of love.
1 Peter 4:8–11 Above all, keep loving one another earnestly since love covers a multitude of sins. 9 Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. 10 As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace: 11 whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.
All of this is an explanation of what it means to love earnestly.
It means that when you speak a thoughtless word, you cover over it with patience and grace. It means that when you invite someone into your home, you do it with gladness, not because people will think poorly of you if you don’t. It means using whatever gifts you have with a confident love that sees God as the ultimate source and purpose for every gift that you have.
That is genuine love. And that is what Paul is expecting from Philemon.
This is the type of genuine resolution that Paul is hoping for.
Then, back in Philemon, verse 22.
“At the same time, prepare a guest room for me, for I am hoping that through your prayers I will be graciously given to you.”
There is a type of subtle warning here. Paul isn’t being passive-aggressive, but he is making sure that Philemon knows that Paul will be following up. If Paul has his way, then Philemon will look him in the eyes at some point and give an account of what happened, whether good or bad.
Genuine hope for resolution doesn’t mean that you don’t follow up. It doesn’t mean that you do everything that you can to make sure that there is real peace. Genuine resolution.
And this brings up a good point. What if you don’t have the certainty that Paul expresses here?
What if you look at a conflict, and you think, is it worth it?
If we are at the lake and I see one of my children start to struggle and fall beneath the waves, you better believe that I will be jumping in. Even if it seems like they are too far gone, if there is a fraction of a chance that they can be saved, then you better believe that I and my cell phone and whatever else I have in my pockets will be jumping into that lake to do every single thing I can to keep them alive.
As long as there is a hint of hope, I would never just stand there and keep eating my hotdog.
How could I live with myself? How could I even claim to love them?
The hope of the peacemaker might be that fraction of hope. But the work of the peacemaker is no less important.
Many people who leave the faith will leave because they never resolved conflict. They quietly nurse their bitterness until it grows into full-blown hatred, and with that hatred in their heart, they ask, how is this any different from the world?
A fair question.
Brothers and sisters, may we be a people who graciously seek out the truest and most lasting peace for all of those around us. Because that is what Christ calls us to do.
And as we place our trust in God, we can recognize together that there is always hope.
Maybe the situation has proven to be hopeless. You have fulfilled the commandment of Romans 12:18, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”
Maybe you’ve done everything you can do, and there is still no resolution–not even a hint of resolution.
Even if there is nothing else that you can do, then there is still this command from 1 Peter 4:19. “Therefore let those who suffer according to God’s will entrust their souls to a faithful Creator while doing good.”
There may be a time when there is genuinely nothing else that you can do, and even then, you have reason to hope because you are the blood-bought child of a faithful Creator.
So whether you are clinging to the hope of genuine resolution in that relationship right now or whether you are clinging to that day when God will bring final resolution to every conflict.
In every situation, may we show ourselves to be Sons of God who make peace as we actively seek the good of all parties involved, and trust in God’s sovereign hand, and make appeals from Gospel truth, and hope for genuine resolution.
And as we come to the table today, we remember the great peacemaker, Jesus Christ.
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